Hey there loyal readers! It has been quite some time since I last emerged from the recesses of Covid isolation. But fear not, your demands have been heard, so here I am posting again. I hope I don't let down the romantic visage of what you all dreamed this next topic would be. We're going to switch it up a little bit and I'm going to write about something I haven't yet touched on. Can you guess? TRAVEL! YAY! Everybody loves a good travel blog and with the lack of the opportunity to do so for so many, I thought I'd let you live vicariously through my little cross continental adventure. (I would not advise you follow in my footsteps, however; you'll find out why later.)
Picture it: the evening is cool, a slight tinge of smoke in the air due to all the California fires, a sun setting behind me on the most beautiful coastline in America as I make my way towards central Cali wine country. The goal for the evening is to make it to Solvang. It’s a famous little town that is known for the cute Dutch inspired architecture and melt in your mouth butter cookies. (If you ever end up there, get the bucket of cookies; it's worth every calorie.) Some people may recognize the town from a movie called "Sideways." I admit I've never seen it but hear it's a decent watch.
As I drive past some of my favorite places (Paula's Pancakes, Solvang Brewery's windmill, the city center gazebo) I notice my friends' pub sitting under construction awaiting its big opening day. I look closely to see what new addition has made its appearance (this time the flower gardens are filled with succulents). Arrowsmith’s looks a little bit homier every time I pass. Saddened I won't get to see it in all the opening day glory, I push on through downtown to the residential side of Solvang. I lower the windows and drive the winding roads a little bit slower than usual, taking in every site and smell. Fae sticks her head out to smell the grill of one of the wineries as we pass by. This is the last time I'll be heading this way to family dinner for some time, and I want to take all the memories with me.
Let me expand on family dinner. Basically no one is related to me in this group. We're all ages, genders, and professions who met because of a mutual friend. For whatever reason we ended up hanging out every weekend over time. We'd make dinners and desserts, and chat while watching the dogs play. It became an atmosphere that felt like home, so, naturally, it became family dinner. We would sit in the spa (hot tub for the less cultured like myself) and try to figure out the mysteries of life. Freely discussing things that bothered us about work or future aspirations, relationships, and academic topics. It's almost like a parlor environment during the Enlightenment Era. I learned a lot about myself on these long, drawn-out California nights.
That night I planned to stay with the Arrowsmiths so I could get a head start on my 17-day journey across the states. Fortunately, they didn't have any Air BnB guests at the time and had an extra room. (If you are interested in a lovely relaxing time in a great area of California you should look them up.) We stayed up late talking about the bar, our next adventures, and before I knew it, the alarm was ringing, and it was time to go.
It was a brisk morning and I had to do the normal trip maintenance on my car before heading out. I aired up the tires, checked the oil and windshield fluid levels, and decided to take a look at my air conditioning. On a cold day you wouldn't normally think to do this, but I was headed to Las Vegas, and to avoid some of the fires, I had to go through Death Valley. That was not a place you wanted to end up stranded. As luck would have it, my air con was shot. "Perfect way to start this trip off," I thought sarcastically. I wasn't too concerned because I only had a couple days through desert areas, and it was October so I thought everything would get cooler as I made my way cross-country. (That was a lie…thanks global warming.) I say my farewells and hit the road with Fae as my co-pilot. I rolled all the windows down waved goodbye to my favorite part of California.
“Sunset on the best coast”
Half-way through the desert, it's 103 degrees Fahrenheit. I have a dark grey Ford Escape with black leather seats and a dark interior. Needless to say, both Fae and I were over-heating. The few times I did try to coax the air conditioning on it felt like the car was going to shake itself apart. The accelerator seemed to make things worse whenever I tried to speed up, so I shut everything down and prayed it would stay until I at least made it to cooler weather. I was supposed to meet up with a friend and stay at her house (cause I'm cheap and don't like spending a ton on hotels), but she had a work thing and I ended up scrambling to find a place on the strip. I found the LINQ hotel, seemed like a decent price, and booked it.
Poor Fae, who is normally a great traveler, was scared of the constant noise berating her giant bat ears and overheating in the sun. She was so stressed she refused to eat or drink, so finally I ended up getting a cup of ice water at McDonald's and dumped it on her to cool her down. She wasn't a fan of that either and pouted the rest of the ride. The only time she moved after that was when I happened to drive over a rumble strip. Lord help me that dog became a mountain goat and climbed anything available in the car (usually me) to hide from the sound. After one too many attempts of her trying to crawl under my feet as I was driving to hide under my chair, I put her in her doggie bag and she calmed down the rest of the way. That is until we got to the hotel.
“The longest day...”
Vegas is a strange place. I can't imagine what it would be like not under Covid conditions. There was still a decent amount of people around, cars everywhere, and some sort of flashing lights accosted your eyes at every turn. I finally found my hotel and after dragging my bags (and Fae) all the way to the front desk through the casino and very inconsiderate drunken crowds, I got checked in and found my room. Now the room was fine for what it was, basically an over-night stop. However, the strip view turned out to be a view of their alleyway leading to the parking garage. I had the unique experience of getting to listen to every car go over the speed bumps way to fast all night. Poor little Fae spent the whole time hiding in the bathroom by the toilet before I finally convinced her to get to bed. I was not a fan of this experience at all. Vegas is a place that would probably be great if you had enough money for VIP everything and didn't have to interact at all with the population. If I go back, I'm not carrying my bags, I'm getting room service, and you can bet I'm gonna find that in-house massage. Glad I was there only a night and realizing I had a long drive the next day, I knocked out early.
Five in the morning day 2, I packed up everything and headed out. Fortunately, most people were still asleep from the benders the night before. There were several people staggering in as I was leaving after finishing their nights up at the local Waffle House. Fae was in a better mood after food, ice water and a good long night of snuggles. We hopped in the car and watched the sky start to lighten as we headed north for Salt Lake City, Utah.
I don't know how many of you have driven I-15 North from Las Vegas to Salt Lake City but let me tell you, there's not much out there. Lots of desert, a few farm spots where they could find water tables, and a lot of little mountain ranges. With a high of 98 degrees Fahrenheit that day I wanted to get on the road to avoid the same perils of the day before. Traffic was cruising and the driving wasn't difficult, so I had a lot of time to look at the sites.
When you're being constantly pounded by whipping wind there is little room in your mind to think about much of anything. You almost enter a meditative state. It was just me, my dog, and an entire part of the country I had never seen. It was some of the most beautiful terrain I had encountered in a while. It was a complete contrast to the coastline and hills of California. Utah was a flat deserted land with random large striped rock formations and sometimes a mountain pass. You'd drive by groups of massive wind turbines. When you did come across a town it was always farmland of some sort. Lots of cattle since the land didn't seem to be very fertile in most places. I promised myself driving through this area that I'd come back one day and truly explore the state and its wonders.
“Utah sunrise”
The hours passed by quickly and I made it to my friend's house earlier than scheduled. We had dinner and Fae immediately made herself comfortable on the couch (a much better sign than hiding by the toilet). I checked the weather and began to plan my drive to Colorado the next day. As the days passed the drives got longer, so I made sure everything was in order and slept early. Fae decided that sleeping slpooted out under the bed was the best option that night. I listened to her quietly bark in her dreams as I drifted off to sleep.
Another 5 AM wake up and quick goodbye at breakfast started my morning. It wasn’t just dark; you could still see the constellations in the night sky. The smell of manure wafted through the air as I loaded my bags. My friend lives in a little farm town that is rapidly expanding due to the interest in development that has taken Utah by storm over the last year. I bid Spanish Fork goodbye at the gas station in the ripping frigid wind as I gave Fae one last potty break. We were heading east through the Rocky Mountains and the cold was beckoning us through the pass. I looked forward to being able to keep my windows up for once this trip. I started climbing upward as the sun peaked over the tips of the mountains.
Now you may not know this about me, but I love the Rockies. There is something magical about them. The air always smells crisp with the scent of pine. My favorite time is early fall when the leaves change. You have breath-taking views of gold and red hills through the mountain valleys. The water in the rivers is one of the most glittering, crystal clear substances you’ll ever see. A large part of my younger life was spent in the trees on hikes or in the snowy mountains skiing. But neither of these sites were my favorite Colorado memory. Even the Aspens couldn’t compare to the hot air balloons that would drift in the clear early morning across the silhouette of Pike’s Peak. My father and I used to get up early to watch the balloons dance during breakfast. We’d then plan our adventures to Helen Hunt Falls or Garden of the Gods. We had a little corgi pup named Millie at the time who’d come along for the fun. I wanted to see these again and share those sites with Fae.
It had been three years since I last drove through these particular mountain passes. I passed familiar scenes and town names. Remembered all the fun I used to have in Keystone Ski Resort. (I had learned how to ski there with my family when I was just eight years old.) As I was thinking about this, I realized that the purpose for this road trip may not have been as straight forward as I thought. I was trying to get from point A to point B and wanted to see friends and family along the way. I didn’t realize I also needed to visit the places of the country I love so much. I felt like a Cherokee tribe member visiting the spirit of the lands I once called home like an old friend. Ever since I’ve been young, I had a connection to nature I could never quite explain. (Much to my mother’s chagrin when I once befriended a squirrel in our back yard.) I realized as I smelled the air, watched the hawks soar, and the mountain goats scavenge for tiny wildflowers, that it is just as important to visit the places in nature that your spirit connects with throughout your life. It recharges you in a way I can’t put into words.
Traffic came to a slamming halt jerking me back into reality. We were down to a single lane and construction workers surrounded us. As we putted along, I started seeing cars pulling off to the side of the road breaking down because the engine couldn’t take the altitude climb anymore. Fae was getting antsy. We had already been in the car 30 minutes passed the scheduled potty break since the towns were spread out. I was looking for exits, but with no navigation and traffic at a stand-still I knew it would be awhile.
The men and women were working hard and fast to try to finish the roadwork. It was early October and Halloween was approaching fast. (This is usually when the first blizzard happens.) Once snow was on the ground it would just accumulate from there, so they needed to make sure the bridges would hold.
Sitting there gave me some time to finally look around, instead of focusing on the winding roads. I was enjoying looking at the Aspens as their Golden leaves fluttered to the ground. They usually change much earlier than the rest of the trees and get blown away quickly with the winter wind rushing through the valleys. We slowly inched forward and as I turned the bend my heart sank. The scene before me was desolation. There was nothing but black charred land as far as the eye could see. You saw the line where it seemed to have suddenly stopped; the highway also proved to be a natural breaking point for the fire. You drove past exit after exit of towns that were evacuated. There was a tinge of smoke-smell in the air. Fae grew concerned since she couldn’t see out of her bag at what was going on and we were pushing an hour over break time.
“Rocky mountain desolation”
We started to climb out of the valley and my car lurched. She didn’t want to accelerate, she started shaking, and I could see the heat coming off the hood. As a way to sooth my nerves I took to comforting Fae. My goal was to make it out of the mountains before I stopped. (I wasn’t entirely sure my car would start again if I turned it off.) We were already way behind schedule due to the construction delay and I had no service to call my aunt and let her know. Although I am pretty good at meeting my goals through sheer will power… I couldn’t will more gas into my tank. I finally had to pull off about an hour before we made it out of the front range. I filled up and decided to stay awhile since the car needed to cool down and Fae needed some cuddles.
As soon as I stepped out of the car, everything I loved about Colorado hit me at once. I dropped Fae to the pavement and put her leash on. Her nose was as high in the air as she could get it. As we strolled along, she had to smell every twig and chase every leaf. I smiled to myself because this was the first time I had felt such internal peace and joy in a long while. We had literally stopped to smell the metaphorical roses. The Colorado River ran behind where we stopped and there was a nice little path the town had created. I sat there and listened to the water stream by and watched Fae taking in every new thing. I could already tell she loved Colorado just as much as I do (even if driving through it is scary). It was nice to stop and listen to the sounds of nature and not have to think for a while, just exist.
“A touch of fall in Colorado”
We stayed for about twenty minutes and I grabbed some lunch from the Dairy Queen down the path. We still had at least 3 more hours until we got to my Aunt and Uncle’s, so I needed to make up some time. The car started on the second try and we were off. I took it slow so as not to anger the mechanical gods and end up on the side of the road. I stopped about every hour to let her cool down and ended up at one of my favorite places in CO… the Castle Rock Outlets! I did a little shopping, got some coffee, and waited for traffic to die down in the stretch of road that has been under construction since I was a freshman in college. I had familiar memories flood back to me of dates with an old fling, shopping with friends at the beginning of ski season, and going out with the girls to find dresses to attend friends’ weddings. I wasted way too much time there and got back on the road around dinner time.
At this time, I didn’t need navigation anymore. Colorado Springs is my second home. I drove past the Air Force Academy with its lit-up chapel, I saw the humane society I used to volunteer at, and I finally made it to the Broadmoor area. Now if you haven’t been to Colorado Springs before, the Broadmoor Hotel is a must see in my opinion. It’s an upscale hotel but has a ton of history and worth the splurge. I used to go to dinner at their restaurant called the Golden B. It Was a fun place with a British Pub kind of atmosphere. They had a piano player, everyone seemed to be dressed for going out, and the food was delicious. They also have one of my favorite craft beers there called Beehive. Seriously magical stuff: it tastes like liquid honey but isn’t overpoweringly sweet. (Shameless plug over). I drove past the church my Aunt taught classes at, and the houses of friends who have long since moved. When I pulled into the drive with the pine trees surrounding me and a hint of winter air coming down the mountain face I thought, “Welcome home.”
I was greeted warmly by my Aunt and Uncle with hugs and Chinese takeout waiting for me in the kitchen. It felt like every other weekend when I used to come see them in college. Fae seemed to somehow know that these people were related to me as she snuggled up next to my uncle on the couch (just as she does with my dad). He had old British Sitcoms on for background noise as he worked, and she seemed to be interested in whatever was happening on the TV. The plan was to stay an extra day and visit places I used to go all the time. I’m usually pretty low maintenance as a guest, so my Aunt left me to scour the kitchen for snacks and leftovers. My uncle left the TV on for me as they headed to bed. Fae was passed out in the middle of the floor completely content.
The next morning was one of peaceful déjà vu. I woke up early to a cold morning. I headed out to the balcony to watch the wildlife in the back yard. My uncle loves to regale me with the tales of the droves of mountain lions, black bears, bobcats, and other animals that come through their yard. Today’s spectacle was the neighbor’s cat chasing a ground hog. Fae whined since she wanted to go play, but I scooped her up and headed to Helen hunt falls for a hike.
The hike is very short, not even a mile. But it’s pretty steep stairs all the way up. Fae didn’t realize this, so she thought running up them was going to work. Needless to say, it was a lot of stop and go. We finally made it to the top where you could see an aerial view of the Broadmoor and all of downtown Colorado Springs in front of you. It’s one of my favorite hikes because it’s easy and quick, and not as terrifying as the Incline.
The way down was even harder for Fae’s little legs as she bounced down each step like a bunny. She stopped and hid under a bench for a while in the shade hoping I’d give up and carry her. We made it back to the bottom and went toward the creek. She had never seen a flowing creek before and didn’t know exactly what to do with the water. I loved that I got to experience her seeing new things. It’s like watching a baby go through all their firsts and it’s very heartwarming. There was a little boy watching her narrating the “funny little dog” to his dad as they ate lunch. I let him say hi and headed for the Garden of the Gods next.
“Adventure pup”
Up to this point we were doing good. I forgot how blazing the Colorado sun can be mid-day. It was a dry, burn you immediately kind of heat, but this stop was a must for my trip… especially with Fae. The Garden of the Gods was my first dog’s favorite place to explore. My family knew every nook of the park and Millie loved to chase squirrels and find deer poop to try to roll in. It was a dog’s heaven on earth. Fae loves people and other animals and new places, so I wanted her to have the experience. She did really well until about halfway through and her tiny legs gave up. She plopped over in the shade of a tree and stared at me obstinately, refusing to keep walking. I gave her some water ad coaxed her along but to no avail.
Now I should mention, for a corgi puppy, Fae is a pretty big girl. Carrying a 20-pound dog around the remaining mile of the trail in the heat wasn’t my idea of fun, but I spoil her, so I complied. I have never seen so many people light up before. Every person we passed couldn’t help but smile at Fae’s derpy face, tongue hanging out, laying upside-down in my arms sprawled out with feet in the air. Children, parents, even couples that were obviously fighting smiled as we passed by. Some were concerned for her health and I assured them that she was fine, just not acclimated to the altitude yet. We headed home and I told everyone about my day. My aunt and uncle took Fae for another walk in the neighborhood as I went to get my nails done for my friend’s wedding.
“Two girls and the Gods”
By this time almost a week has passed on my cross-continental adventure. Day 5 turned out to be my earliest day of the trip. My alarm went off at 4:30 am. Fae sleepily glared at me as I turned the light on. Fortunately, I had packed my bags the night before, so I didn’t have to worry about it. I’m pretty much full zombie any time before like 8 am, so this was a great start to the day. My Aunt got up to make some breakfast and coffee for me and I mentally prepped for my 14-hour drive that faced me. It would be an easy drive through the flat midwestern states that no one visits, just drives through. But the sheer distance that needed to be covered to get to my family farm in Illinois that night was gonna be a lot. My aunt gave me a blessed rosary to protect me on the rest of my journey. I honked goodbye and headed on my way. We made it to Illinois with no issues other than the car smelling like methane as we headed through the cow farms of Kansas and Oklahoma. I pulled in about 9:30 pm to the gravel drive outside the barn.
The thing I love the most about our farm is the stars. It’s a cellular black hole and probably could be registered as a dark sky location if we didn’t have a lamp out by the barn. You can see every constellation. On new moon nights, like this particular evening, you can see the Milky Way Galaxy with your bare eyes. There are sounds of frogs and crickets everywhere, goats and cows making noises in the distance. Occasionally the coyotes will start yipping. It smelled like corn and Illinois mud. Not a pleasant smell, but one I relate to my childhood memories of Thanksgiving. Fae of course, was scared of everything. I had a wedding in St. Louis to attend that week, so I had brought Fae out to follow dad around and get used to the farm. The first night I was at my friend’s house she apparently threw up in my dad’s truck and pooped by the door out of spite. Eventually she got to where she’d come outside. but jumped at every loud noise that was within 20 feet of her.
The wedding was a 4-day event of one of my oldest friends from high school. It was weird all of us coming back as “grown-ups” talking about “adult” things. You change a lot over the years but with these girls it seemed like no matter where we went in life, you could have one phone call after 2 years of not talking and be best friend’s again. They are the sisters I never had. Her parents had moved to their retirement ranch in Missouri and even though I had never been there, I felt like I was home once again. We were all running around helping prep the food and decorations. The boys were outside building a dance platform in the front yard. We headed out for some good old bachelorette party ax throwing and bid farewell to the rest of the family.
“I threw both at the same time”
The wedding was fantastic. I have never experienced a Greek Orthodox wedding before this. The church glistened in the mid-day sun. It’s right by the park and across the road from the St. Louis hospital. It seems a bit un-assuming in its location, but you walk in and it looks like a forgotten time from the Byzantine Empire. The pulpit was ornately decorated and embossed with gold. The air smelled of incense. In the back of the church there was a giant stain-glass window that glowed as the sun hit it. It was this window that made me break my promise of not crying. My friend came down the aisle in a dress that subtly caught the light in the glitter and cast an ethereal glow around her whole body. She was a stunning bride, marrying a great man. This moment was honestly the whole reason I took this trip. I wasn’t going to miss this wedding for the world. We finally got my girl married and suffered through wedding pictures per the usual bridal party responsibility, and then it was time to party. I have to say, this was the best party I have had in ages. Quite frankly the best wedding I have ever been too (and I’m at that phase in my life where everyone is getting married right now so that’s saying something). I headed back to the farm for a family bonfire night with extended relatives. I caught up with cousins I hadn’t seen in years, saw elderly family members who made an effort to make it out, and of course worked a lot.
“The window”
Oh, speaking of work, I forgot to mention that 2 hours before I was supposed to leave for the wedding, my dad decided to take a look at my AC. He thought it just needed a charge but when he was pumping Freon out of it, he realized something wasn’t right. I was summoned to help press on the accelerator and do other things as my dad looked in the engine from all angles. I turned the AC on and sped up in neutral. My dad gave me the signal to cut power immediately. He looked at me and said, “Thank god you had the common sense not to try to force this to run. Your air compressor is shot, and the drive belt is about to fall off. Your AC could have exploded, and you could’ve been stranded in the desert or the mountains.” Sometimes looking back on the sequences of events I wonder how much things play a part in the universe. I am a religious person, and it still surprises me looking back that when I was facing a horrible situation without knowing it, my aunt insisted on blessing a rosary for my trip. It could be luck; it could not correlate at all. I don’t know the answers, but I do know that I personally have had a lot of coincidences that are hard to explain away. (I still have that rosary hanging on my dresser to this day.)
The morning after the bonfire, my dad kicked me out bright and early to close up the house for winter. I wasn’t expecting this, so starting my second unplanned detour of the trip I headed out a day early to Mississippi to see my Grandma. She is the sweetest little southern lady you’ll ever meet. Born and raised in the part of Mississippi Elvis grew up in, she lived a hard life. She is humble and never asks for anything, so I decided to surprise her and give her a visit. We’re always so busy and she’s not able to come up to the farm for 4th of July anymore, so I try to visit whenever I can. I used to live 5 hours from her. We would spend the weekends together going on adventures and having sleepovers. She is such a great Grandma that I try to spoil her because she won’t do nice things for herself. I told her I wanted 2 things: to watch hallmark movies with her and make apple butter. We did just that. I was very excited to get to learn the secret family recipe for the apple butter. I had brought some apples we picked from the farm. I wanted to bring the jar home for my brothers that were coming to visit. Apple butter is a hot commodity in my household. My dad used to hide a jar of it because he knew he’d never get any with us kids around.
I cooked for Grandma and we went to the Tishomingo State Park to go for a stroll with Fae in the morning. I saw the famous swinging bridge. (They have since fixed the swinging.) And…. we gossiped. My Grandma is a sweet southern lady, but she also has that southern sass. I told her about everything going one with the family (sans my eldest brother’s wife expecting since they hadn’t officially announced yet), and what was happening with my job/life. While we chatted, the hours flew by. Fae was Grandma’s little buddy too. Grandma isn’t a dog person, but she liked Fae… mainly because she’s my dog. But Fae would follow Grandma everywhere. She’d sleep by the foot of her bed. She’d lay by the sink as Grandma cooked and cleaned. She even followed her to the bathroom. I hadn’t seen her act like that with anyone but me. It was so cute! The first night Grandma gave me a hug goodnight, Fae was visibly upset. She jumped up at us and barked. She let go of me and Fae wedged herself in between our legs then looked up and glared at me. It was like she was telling me Grandma was hers and to back off. I had never seen her act jealous ever. Grandma patted her head and said, “it’s ok, I love you too.” Those three days went faster than I wanted. I was supposed to be heading up to Ohio to see a friend, but she was in quarantine at the moment, so I decided to push on to Virginia a bit earlier than planned. (Detour 3…)
“Tuckered after making apple butter”
Another day, another gorgeous drive. The last time I drove home from my Grandma’s I was chasing a thunderstorm the whole 10 hours. Today was a beautiful fall day. The leaves were dancing on the road as cars drove past. Semi-trucks would zoom by and knock a handful off occasionally. I drove through Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, and all the way up through Virginia. I come from the Northern Virginia area, NOVA for short. It’s famous for the beltway traffic, ridiculously expensive living costs, and being close to Washington D.C. Why anyone would want to live so close to the politicians I will never know, but I consider it a tradeoff to be close to some of the most amazing museums and history in the world.
It wasn’t until I was visiting in Virginia that I got what I had been waiting for the whole trip: true fall. I brought some sweaters to snuggle up in and asked my parents to get apple cider. My family was getting together for a little reunion and all my brothers and their wives came over. Fae was obviously the favorite. We took fall photos, and everyone had to wait in their awkward poses until we got one with Fae looking at the camera. My oldest brother started throwing rocks to get her attention. (It kind of worked). We sat watching Hallmark Christmas movies (they started earlier this year it seems), as we waited for the Florida State University football game to be aired. We are a pretty big football family. My brother that went there showed up to dinner in his Jersey ready for a loss since the team wasn’t doing so hot at that point, but somehow they pulled it off and we all were in a cheerful mood. I went shopping with my sister-in-laws, we went to a pumpkin patch as a family, and took way too many photos.
“Fall photo shoot”
I didn’t understand how much my soul needed healing at the beginning of this trip. I just saw it as a fun thing to do as I went to a wedding and made my way home. But looking back I realize that not only did I not know I needed this trip; I also didn’t know what specific things fill my soul. I had been grumpy and burnt out from the Covid-19 demand on my support job. I had a lot on my plate as I was looking to move. I didn’t want to take vacation days just to sit in my house and I felt like I had too much to do to actually have the time to take the days. I almost always go into the new year with zero vacation days as well due to the regular family gatherings, adding extra stress. For some time, it has irritated me that I spent so much leave on events that felt obligatory for the family. Of course, I was happy to go and see everyone over holidays and special occasions, but I just never felt like I had time for me as well. I had a lot of days saved up and was running on almost completely empty. Much to my surprise, when I was looking at things to do and places to go, the first thing I thought of was visiting friends and family. Not only did I choose something I normally griped about, I even chose one of the most time-consuming methods to accomplish it. It’s no easy feat to travel across the U.S., let alone constantly zig-zagging north and south the whole way.
I also didn’t realize how much I needed nature in my life, or how much I enjoyed seeing new things and adventuring. Perhaps a lot of it comes from being cooped up from teleworking and the demands of the current societal situation. In reality, how much is this different from our day to day lives? Not leaving our house is just a different type of social isolation. Before March 2020 I was working all the time, held up in a dark office. I would rarely visit friends or go explore the area around me due to exhaustion. The most I did was make my way to the nearest restaurant for dinner. Quite honestly my regular life didn’t change much with Covid, which made me realize how much I wasn’t taking care of myself in so many different ways.
Your soul needs nourishment too. It’s not going to come from reading self-help books on how to find self-fulfillment. It’s not going to come from asking your friends and family what they do to recharge themselves. It comes from a place deep inside you. Like I said earlier, I have always been connected to nature. But rarely do I ever immerse myself in it. I don’t camp or hike. I honestly barely go outside sometimes. Yet every time I do, I’m reminded how much I love it and how joy filled and peaceful I am in it.
I also realized that I talk myself out of so many things because of money, or difficulty, or the fact I “don’t have time.” You will never have time. You make it. You prioritize it. I didn’t travel other than to see family on holidays. One day I woke up and decided to go to England. (I had an excuse since a friend lived there and it was my birthday.) It was an amazing experience and I loved it so much I decided I would travel somewhere new every year for my birthday. I didn’t know travel and exploration was something my soul needed until that moment. You may have different needs. Chances are you already know what they are. For some, it’s gym time and exercise, others it’s cooking. Every person is unique. Listen to the inner whispers coming from your heart and follow them to something crazy that just might be what you feel like you’re missing.
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